Why are Adult Friendships so tricky

How Are You, Really? October marks a natural turning point in the year. The year has substantially passed and is coming to an end, and there’s a quiet invitation to slow down, take stock and turn inward. It’s a time of transition—a time that reflects what many of us feel but rarely give ourselves the time and space to acknowledge or process. This makes October a fitting month for World Mental Health Day , observed each year on October 10th . While it’s an important time for raising awareness globally, it’s also a deeply personal reminder: our mental health matters, and we need to take ownership to prioritize the same as intentionally as we do our physical health. With the pre-occupation of day-to-day life, where productivity and performance often take centre stage, we can easily lose sight of how we’re really feeling and what we really need. This October, I invite you to slow down.
Take a deep breath.
And ask yourself: How am I, really? Mental Health Is Everyday Health Mental health is not a luxury. Neither is it something reserved for people in crisis or with mental illness. It’s something we all own, and something we all need to look after and maintain—just like our physical wellbeing. Some days, our mental health feels steady and clear. Other days, it may feel shaky, foggy, or heavy. That fluctuation is normal. But if you’ve noticed that the tough days are starting to outweigh the better ones—or if you’ve been feeling disconnected, anxious, exhausted, or simply “not yourself” for a while—it may be time to check in more deeply. The truth is, many people struggle silently or ignore the warning signs. According to the World Health Organization, an estimated 1 in 4 people worldwide will experience a mental health issue at some point in their lives. And yet, stigma, shame, busyness and misconceptions still prevent many from seeking support. Common Myths About Mental Health Let’s take a moment to challenge a few common myths that often keep people from getting help: • “I should be able to handle this on my own.” 
While resilience is admirable, no one is meant to carry their emotional struggle alone. Seeking help or support is not an act of coward, or a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it is an act of taking ownership and responsibility for our own mental health, and an act of courage to face the issue. Just as you’d seek help for a broken bone, it’s okay to seek support for emotional pain or mental unwellness too. • “My problems aren’t serious enough, other people in similar situation are going through the same thing.” 
Therapy or mental check-in isn’t just for people in crisis. Many clients seek support for stress, burnout, relationships, transitions, or just to better understand themselves. If it’s impacting you in any way, it’s valid. Especially so if it has been affecting your general wellbeing for some time. Only you know how you feel, and how you are being impacted. There is no one universal baseline for everyone, each of us is unique. • “If I talk about it, I will feel worse.” 
The opposite is often true. Recognising and naming what you’re feeling and being heard by a trusted person, or a professional in a safe space can bring incredible cathartic relief. The added advantage of seeking therapy with professional therapists is that you will not feel judged, instead you feel safe and heard, and will also achieve clarity as to your feelings and thinking. This clarity will go a long way to help you navigate through your struggles. Simple Ways to Support Your Mental Health This Month Whether you’re in a difficult season or simply wanting to stay emotionally grounded, here are some gentle practices you could try to support your mental wellbeing: 1. Create Intentional Pauses Take 2–5 minutes each day to check in with yourself. How’s your body feeling? What emotions are present? Just noticing and acknowledging, without judgment, is powerful. It means that you are paying attention to yourself, and recognising how you feel bodily and emotionally. 2. Move Your Body, Gently You don’t need an intense workout. Even a walk outside or light stretching can release tension and help bring your focus back to yourself. Bonus if you could get some fresh air and sunlight in the process too, which are vital to boost your mood. 3. Limit Mental Overload If you are suffering from mental overload, your nervous system needs breaks to recalibrate. You may have too many things you want done or expected to get done, try to organize and only focus on what really needs to be done currently , so that you can declutter and lighten the mental overload. Learning how to prioritise in our fast-paced life is important. Also try reducing overstimulation from excessive screen time, social media, news, or constant multitasking. 4. Reach Out and Connect Call a friend. Reach out to someone for a catch-up. Let someone know how you’re doing. Be interested in what’s going with someone’s life. You might be surprised how much it helps to connect with and talk to someone. 5. Get Support from a Professional There’s no shame in talking to a therapist. In fact, therapy can be one of the most empowering choices you make. It’s a safe and confidential space to explore your thoughts, process difficult emotions, and learn useful tools to navigate life more effectively. Therapy Is Not a Last Resort—It’s a Powerful Resource As a psychotherapist, I’ve had the privilege of walking alongside people through their most challenging seasons. And I’ve seen time and time again how people uncover or re-discover their inner resilience when they feel safe, heard, understood, and supported. Therapy offers more than just a place to vent. It’s a space where healing can happen. Where self-awareness can deepen. Where you can reconnect with your own wisdom and inner resources. Self-care Isn’t Selfish—It’s Essential In our culture, especially in caregiving roles or high-pressure environments, it’s easy to internalize the message that taking care of yourself is weak or selfish. But burnout, emotional numbness, and chronic stress don’t just affect you—they impact your relationships, your health, and your ability to show up fully for your loved ones. When you care for your mental health, everyone around you benefits. You become more grounded, more present, and more available—to yourself and others. So let’s rewrite the narrative: Checking in with oneself isn’t being self-indulgent. It’s being responsible. Final Thoughts If you’ve been navigating life’s demands on your own and wondering whether you could benefit from talking to someone—this is your invitation. Whether you’re processing a recent loss, dealing with anxiety, exploring your identity, or simply feeling stuck, therapy can be a life-changing space for self-discovery, healing and growth. World Mental Health Day is a powerful reminder, but mental health care isn’t a one-day event. It’s an ongoing practice of listening inward, paying attention to your body and emotions, and knowing that you can exercise your own agency in seeking support. If you’re looking for a place to begin, we are here. As therapists, we offer a safe, non-judgmental space where you can explore what’s been weighing on your heart and mind. You don’t have to carry it all alone. If you would like to speak to me, or one of our therapists, feel free to contact us at info@counselingperspective.com . Pause. Check In. Reflect. Heal. Your wellbeing matters. And you are not alone .

Mental Health Day Reflection: The Journey to Self-Mastery They say it takes 10,000 hours to master something. Whether it’s playing the violin, baking sourdough or speaking French, put in the time and you can become a master. Here’s a curious thought: Most of us have been living as ourselves for well over 30,000, 40,000, even 50,000 hours ... and yet, how many of us can say we’ve mastered ourselves? We’ve been alive, sure—but have we been awake, present for ourselves? Why Aren’t We Masters of Ourselves? Because too often, we’re: • Too busy chasing what we think we should want • Too busy being angry about what didn’t go our way • Too busy overthinking what might happen next • Too busy living in other people’s heads seeking approval and fearing judgment Sound familiar? You’re not broken. You’re not behind. You’re just not yet aligned and that can change. What Is Self-Mastery? Self-mastery isn’t about perfection. It’s about living in alignment with your values, your energy and your vision of the life you want . It’s about making conscious choices, not reactive ones. It’s about being present, not consumed by the past or future. It’s about leading with authenticity, not fear. Yes, it can be a journey. Sometimes, it requires coaching, healing, therapy and/or mentorship. Letting go of outdated identities, relationships or comfort zones may come with a cost. But with that loss often comes relief. You lose baggage you never needed to carry in the first place. Where It All Begins: Awareness The first step? Awareness. Ask yourself: • Who am I becoming? • What actually matters to me now? • Where am I operating from fear instead of freedom? From awareness, we cultivate authenticity . From authenticity, we begin to act in alignment. And with alignment, we start to feel at home in our own skin. That’s self-mastery. It is not loud, not flashy but quietly powerful. This Mental Health Day, Choose You This isn’t a day to “fix” yourself. It’s a day to meet yourself. For some of us it may be for the first time in a while. Take a breath. Slow down. Ask your inner self what they need. Then start small: one present moment, one conscious decision, one fearless step. You already have the hours. Now you just need the intention.