Tools to Foster Better Family Relationships

Family plays a significant role in mental health. Healthy family relationships are characterised by emotionally available, understanding and supportive connections – a safe space where one can feel a sense of love, acceptance and belonging. This way of relating helps to foster emotional intelligence including a greater awareness and understanding of and ability to communicate about of oneself, emotions, as well as the capacity to show empathy for others. Learning from other family members’ skills and behaviours help to build one’s own coping resources. Having strong and consistent emotional support also facilitates resilience building – learning to face and deal with life challenges.
Ongoing conflict or a hostile environment in a family, instability and lack of feeling accepted and understood can have the opposite, negative impact on mental well-being. Whilst adults can also be affected by a challenging family environment, resulting in increased stress, anxiety and depression, children are the most vulnerable in these circumstances and their distress may be expressed in indirect ways such as regression in behaviour, academic difficulties, trouble with sleep, irritable mood, fear, sadness and lack of interest in activities etc.
Here are some key tools to foster better family relationships:
- Prioritize open communication – make regular time to check in with each other by asking open ended questions such as “What was the highlight of your day?”, “What are you enjoying/finding most challenging about school right now?” Practice active listening, that is, listening to understand not to respond. Hold a posture of curiosity rather than judgement being keen to learn more about the other person’s perspective rather than being quick to offer your own opinions.
- Create a safe and supportive environment – let family members know that it is acceptable to talk about any and all topics without fear. Allow space for feelings to be expressed and build trust through affirmation and validation. Criticism or dismissing emotions leads to a breach of trust and safety.
- Have fun together – engaging in activities that are enjoyable or trying new experiences together help to build positive connections. Try a family activity jar where everyone puts in suggestions and each family member gets to a turn to pick an option out of the jar.
- Model healthy coping – ensure that adults demonstrate healthy ways of managing stress, emotions and relationship challenges such as physical movement, relaxation, mindfulness techniques. Children learn what they observe.
- Ensure healthy lifestyle practices such as adequate sleep, balanced nutrition, and limited screen time. Lifestyle routines go a long way towards regulating emotions, mood and behaviour and set a stable foundation for optimal mental health.
If you are struggling with ongoing family challenges, consider family therapy. It can be a helpful step to facilitate better communication, resolve conflicts and address unhealthy relationship dynamics. For more information and guidance, you can reach out to Claudette Jordan at
info@counselingperspective.com


