“Grief is Simply Love with Nowhere to Go”
Wendy Morton
“Grief is Simply Love with Nowhere to Go”
Quote from Chris Hall Chief Executive Officer of the Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement
As I sit down to write this piece, I’m reminded of a young woman, let’s call her Sally, who was utterly inconsolable after losing the love of her life 6 months before they were to be married. So profound was her sorrow, she struggled to find the strength to carry on. She was so enveloped in despair that it became difficult for her to distinguish whether it was her partner who had passed away or, in fact, herself. As a couple, they were not merely two separate individuals; they had become one. In losing him, she felt she had lost herself. Her pain was both physical and emotional.
Grief is often described as a heavy, inescapable weight, a profound and overwhelming sense of loss. Yet, at its core, grief is simply ‘love with nowhere to go’. When we lose someone we cherish—a partner, a friend, a family member—the emotional pain we experience is a pure reflection of the depth of our love for them. In my work, I have witnessed the myriad ways grief manifests in individuals, but I have also seen the transformative power of allowing ourselves to feel that love, even amidst the sorrow.
The Journey of Grief
Grief is not linear; it’s a journey filled with twists, turns, and U-turns. Let’s not forget those U-turns that catch us off guard—moments when we think we’re managing our grief, only to be blindsided by something unexpected. In an instant, we find ourselves spinning 360 degrees around the roundabout, heading right back down Grief Highway.
Grief encompasses a wide range of emotions—sadness, anger, confusion, and sometimes even guilt. There is often an unspoken expectation to "move on," to heal quickly, return to normal life. But, for anyone that has lost their ‘someone’, the thought of “moving on” is horrifying. It implies that life you shared, that love you shared, were simply moments, moments we can and should “move on” from, leave behind, in a sense forget. Instead we move forward in our grief. Move forward until we get to a place where it doesn’t hurt quite as much. Move forward till we get to a place where we can accept this new relationship we have with our someone. Embracing our grief in this way allows us to honour the love we shared with the person we have lost.
Acknowledging Emotions
The first step in traveling through grief is to acknowledge your emotions. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or lost. It’s equally acceptable to experience moments of joy when remembering your loved one. These emotions are all part of the tapestry of love, even though they may feel conflicting. Allow yourself to sit with your feelings; give them space to breathe. Writing in a journal, talking to a trusted friend, or expressing your thoughts through art can help release the pent-up emotions associated with grief. Talking to a professional can also help guide you through this uncharted territory you never chose.
“Take Baby-steps and Wrap Yourself in Cotton Wool”
As you navigate through your grief, practice self-compassion. Understand that it’s okay to have bad days where the weight of your loss feels particularly heavy. Grant yourself permission to take your time. Engage in self-care activities that nurture your spirit— go for a massage, walk in nature, or simply taking a moment to breathe deeply. These small acts of kindness toward yourself foster healing and allow love to circulate within you.
The advice I gave Sally, and all of my grieving clients since, is to
Seeking Support
While the journey through grief can feel isolating, it is essential to seek support. Surround yourself with individuals who understand—friends, family, support groups, or a counsellor. Sharing your story and emotions can alleviate feelings of loneliness and create a sense of community. Remember that you are not alone on this journey; others have walked similar paths and can offer comfort and understanding.
Finding Meaning in Grief
One of the profound aspects of grief is the opportunity it provides to reflect on the love that was shared. Consider how you can keep your loved one’s memory alive. Create rituals or traditions that honour them—lighting a candle, cooking their favourite meal, or sharing stories about them with others. Such acts serve as a way to remember and also transform the grief into an ongoing expression of love. Sally once shared with me that she ‘mysteriously’ looked at her digital watch every day at the exact same time. The digits happened to reflect her fiancee’s date of birth. Seeing this every day, made her smile and served as a beautiful reminder of the love they both shared.
Embracing the Journey
Grief is an expression of love, a testament to the bonds we share, and a reminder that while our loved ones may be gone, the love we hold for them will always remain in our hearts. Embrace this process, and allow yourself the grace to move through it, step by step.
Ultimately, grief is not about forgetting, but about transforming love into something that can continue to exist, even in the absence of the individual. As we travel through the landscape of our emotions, we learn to carry our love with us, finding new ways to express it.
……….and as for Sally. With the love of family, friends and professional support she sought, she moved through her grief. She found love again and now has a family of her own. But every single day she looks at her watch at that ‘special time’ and she smiles, filled with love for her special person.
As the year draws to a close, I find myself returning to the heart again and again. This year has been one of depth, gentleness, and profound inner shifts. For many, it wasn’t about chasing more but about softening into what’s already within. Through stillness or release, courage or quiet surrender, the path was deeply personal and profoundly shared. As I look back, my heart is full of gratitude for every soul who chose growth with openness and curiosity. Together, we shaped spaces of truth, safety, and heartfelt reconnection. Nurture Your Heart We began the year with Nurture Your Heart , a monthly workshop that invited both women and men to pause, reflect, and reconnect with their emotional landscape. It was a powerful reminder that growth begins with presence. In this space, we witnessed the heart’s full range: grief, joy, anger, longing, and allowed it all to be felt and held without judgment. Participants released years of emotional tension, reclaimed forgotten parts of themselves, and discovered a deeper sense of self-compassion. It was an honor to witness both men and women open, express, and support one another. We were reminded that there is strength in softness, and that being seen in our wholeness is one of the most healing gifts we can give and receive. Self-Mastery Another most meaningful experiences for me was co-facilitating our newly launched Self-Mastery Workshop . Creating a space for leaders to pause and realign with their deeper values felt especially powerful. The Harvard Business Review statistic that 95% of people believe they are self-aware but only 10–15% truly are resonated strongly throughout the day. I saw how much leaders yearn not only for clarity but also for the ability to lead with intention and alignment, rather than from autopilot or external pressure. What touched me most was witnessing the transformation that unfolded when we combined evidence-based leadership tools with grounding practices like breathwork, visualization, and reflection. The Energy Leadership™️ Assessment offered insight into personal patterns, while the holistic practices created space for participants to reconnect with themselves. By the end of the day, there was a palpable sense of clarity, alignment, and renewed purpose. It reminded me that self-mastery is ultimately about living and leading in harmony with our values, choosing, again and again, to act with intention and to align with who we truly are. Family Constellation: Seeing the Unseen and Let the Love Flow One of the most profound themes this year was the collective and individual journey that unfolded through our Family and Systemic Constellation workshops. This modality reveals the invisible threads that bind us to our family systems, often in ways we may not be consciously aware of. Patterns of suffering, disconnection, or limitation are not always ours alone to carry; they may belong to generations before us. In constellation work, we step into a sacred field where ancestral stories, unresolved grief, and hidden loyalties can surface gently and respectfully. Through this work, clients found relief from emotional burdens they couldn’t quite name, rediscovering belonging, compassion, and strength in their lineage. It was beautiful to witness how much can shift, not just in individuals, but in entire systems, when one person chooses to see with new eyes and feel with an open heart. Coaching, Sound Journey & Breathwork: Three Portals to the Self This year also offered a beautiful unfolding through three separate yet interwoven paths: Coaching, Sound Healing, and Yin Breathwork. Each of these modalities provided a different gateway into the inner world: meeting people where they were and allowing healing to unfold in organic, embodied ways. Coaching : This year, coaching became a space for profound personal and professional transformation. Whether I was working with individuals seeking emotional clarity or leaders and professionals navigating growth, conflict, or burnout, one thing remained consistent: coaching held up a mirror to what truly matters. It created room to pause, reflect, and reconnect, not just to goals, but to values. Time and again, I saw how high performance can mask deeper needs for alignment, meaning, and authentic leadership. Together, we untangled those threads. We built clear visions and action plans grounded in who my clients truly are and how they want to lead. Now, each client walks forward with clarity, intention, and a roadmap that aligns with their core values so they can lead and live on purpose. Coaching this year reminded me: it’s not just about doing more, but becoming more aligned, more grounded, and more fully yourself. Sound Healing : This year, Sound Healing became more than rest. It became a catalyst for deep inner shifts. Through the resonance of gongs, singing bowls, crystal bowls and chimes, clients were able to release tension held in the body, quiet the noise of the mind, and access a deeper state of awareness. The sound gently bypassed conscious thought and reached the places words couldn’t. Many described it as a feeling of “coming home” to themselves or being “held by something larger.” And the impact was undeniable. Clients left feeling lighter, clearer, more grounded. Across every session, the shift was evident: from overwhelm to ease, from disconnection to presence, from holding on to letting go. Sound didn’t just soothe. It transformed. This reminded me of the incredible intelligence of sound. How its vibrations carry the power to reach beyond words, to touch the unseen layers of our being, and to awaken healing from within. Sound is not just heard; it is felt, remembered, and lived. This deep knowing will continue to inspire and shape my journey ahead. Yin Breathwork : We created a gentle yet profound space for emotional release. Drawing from rebirthing traditions, Yin breathwork sessions invited clients to breathe through old patterns, energetic blockages, and emotions held within the body. The process was often deeply cathartic: tears, laughter, insight, and stillness naturally arose as the breath guided the way and the body felt safe to surrender. The sessions supported the release of what no longer served whether subtle energetic blocks, long-held tension, or trauma gently held beneath the surface. As breath moved through the body, it invited healing and renewal at a deep level, bringing clarity, relief, and a renewed sense of freedom. This year, Yin Breathwork reminded me of the quiet strength found in surrender: the way breath can gently connect with the subconscious, opening hidden layers beyond the reach of words. It showed how allowing ourselves to feel fully, with openness and compassion, can lead to profound healing and transformation. Trusting the breath is trusting the wisdom held deep within. The Path Ahead: Renewal & Expansion Personal growth is not a straight line. It’s layered. It spirals. It deepens with time. If this year has taught me anything, it’s this: our bodies carry wisdom, our hearts hold courage, and we are all capable of anything when we feel safe, supported, and ready. As we step into a new year, I hope you’ll carry these reminders: • You are not behind. • Rest is productive. • You are worthy of joy and ease. • Your journey is your own and it is enough. Coming in 2026: New Offerings, Deeper Connection Looking ahead, we’re thrilled to be launching new workshops and retreats in 2026, created especially for individuals, groups, and couples. These offerings will continue to honour the mind, body, heart, and spirit supporting emotional growth, relational healing, and spiritual awakening. Whether you're a leader seeking greater alignment, a couple longing for deeper connection, or an individual ready to step into your next chapter, we invite you to be part of this next evolution. Thank you for allowing me to walk beside you this year whether in a circle, a constellation, on a breathwork mat, in a coaching room, within the vibrations of sound, or in a quiet moment of resonance. We’ve grown together, expanded our awareness, and returned to ourselves in deeper ways. With love and gratitude, Aki Tsukui Co-Founder, Elemental Wellness
At Elemental Wellness, we believe that healing is not a gendered experience. Healing is for humans. It happens when we allow space for the unsaid, the unseen, and the unfelt to emerge safely, gently, and without judgment. While women have often led the way in emotional exploration, more and more men are beginning to return to their hearts in search of deeper meaning, emotional freedom, and wholeness. This movement toward inner connection is quiet yet powerful. It reflects a shift in how men are redefining strength, no longer as suppression, but as presence. Recently, my fellow coach, Praveen Kaur, and I had the honor of hosting our monthly workshop Nurture Your Heart . During this session, a man courageously stepped into the space of vulnerability. A space often unfamiliar, yet deeply needed. His presence was grounding and symbolic. It reminded us that the male heart, too, longs for safety, softness, and connection. That when held with care, the masculine energy doesn’t dissolve into weakness. It melts into authenticity. The Unseen Weight Men Carry Culturally, many men are raised to be the protectors, providers, and rational thinkers. They’re taught to be strong, stoic, and solution-oriented. From a young age, the message is clear: be dependable, be productive, be in control. But few are ever asked: How do you feel? What do you need right now? Who are you beneath all the roles you perform? This lack of emotional permission often results in quiet suffering. For many men, anger is more acceptable than sadness. Numbness feels safer than vulnerability. And silence becomes a coping mechanism. A way to keep the inner chaos contained. Yet this emotional suppression has consequences. The cost of disconnection is immense: anxiety, burnout, physical tension, emotional withdrawal, and relationship breakdowns. Beneath these symptoms lies a universal truth: men have hearts that feel deeply. They, too, long to be seen, to rest, to release. When that truth is denied, the result is not resilience, but exhaustion. When it’s embraced, the result is transformation. The Session: Safe, Somatic, Intentional Our Nurture Your Heart workshops are designed as intentional pauses in the noise of everyday life: a space to breathe, release, and reconnect. For this particular session, we began with gentle grounding exercises, guiding our participant to anchor into his body through slow, conscious breath. The emphasis was not on “doing it right,” but on allowing. Allowing breath to move freely, allowing thoughts to quiet, and allowing the body to remember safety. Before we began, we asked a simple but powerful question: “How do you want to feel at the end of this session?” Without hesitation, he responded: “Calm my inner voice. Regain a sense of calmness and have mental peace and stability.” These words were not merely goals. They were intentions, anchors that set the emotional tone for the session. They echoed a common theme I often hear in sessions with men: a longing to quiet the mind, settle the nervous system, and return to inner stillness. As the session unfolded, his breath began to guide him inward. Through sound and energetic vibration, we worked gently to release the tension stored in his chest: the space where so many men hold unspoken worries and expectations. What surfaced was not dramatic, but deeply organic: a subtle softening, a quiet recognition of emotions long set aside. In that stillness, the body began to speak. The Power of Intention The question, “How do I want to feel at the end of this session?” , often appears simple, yet it carries profound transformative power. In this case, the intention became a mantra: • Calm my inner voice • Regain a sense of calmness • Have peace He repeated these words throughout the session, not from a place of desperation, but devotion. It was as if each repetition was a permission slip to be gentle with himself to remember that peace is not a luxury, but a right. By the end of the session, something had softened. His movements were slower, his breathing deeper. His face reflected quiet relief: the kind that comes not from fixing, but from feeling. He smiled, not just with his lips, but with his whole being. It was a reminder that when we create space for intention, healing follows naturally. The body knows how to return to balance when given time and safety. Witnessing Male Vulnerability Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of working with many male clients: C-suites, executives, entrepreneurs, fathers, sons, and creatives. Despite their differences, there’s a shared thread among them: a longing to be whole. Each time a man allows himself to be vulnerable, I am reminded of the immense courage it takes to unlearn decades of conditioning. These are not weak men. They are deeply reflective, resilient, and often incredibly hard on themselves. They’ve been taught to be logical, but not always intuitive. Assertive, but not expressive. Strategic, but not soft. And yet, when given permission to express fully, they often go deeper than they ever expected. One client once said, “I didn’t know I needed this.” Another told me after a coaching session, “I haven’t felt this peaceful in years.” The release that happens in these spaces isn’t just emotional. It’s somatic. Their bodies exhale. Their shoulders drop. Their hearts open. They stop performing and start being. And what they gain is not just momentary relief, but a new relationship with themselves. They begin to trust their own emotional wisdom. They communicate more clearly, connect more deeply, and lead from a place of groundedness. It’s not about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who they are beneath the noise. Holding Space for Men This work is not about “fixing” men. It’s about meeting them exactly where they are with tenderness, curiosity, and respect. We don’t ask them to become less masculine. We invite them to expand what masculinity can include: softness, sensitivity, stillness, and spirit. At Elemental Wellness, we believe the heart doesn’t need convincing. It needs permission. When men feel safe enough to lay down their armor, something extraordinary happens. They begin to reconnect not just with others, but with themselves. The Nurture Your Heart session for this client wasn’t about solving problems. It was about creating a sacred pause: a moment where he could simply be . No expectations, no judgment, no performance. In that pause, peace wasn’t something to strive for; it became something to remember. We often forget that healing doesn’t always come with grand gestures or dramatic breakthroughs. Sometimes, it begins with a single breath. Sometimes, it begins with saying, “I’m tired.” Sometimes, it begins with being seen. And in those moments, transformation unfolds quietly. An Invitation To the men who are holding it all together: this space is for you. You don’t need to say much. You don’t need to have the right words. Just start by showing up for yourself. At Elemental Wellness, we honor the fullness of your being. Whether you identify as strong, sensitive, guarded, or grounded, come as you are. We’ll meet you there.
How Are You, Really? October marks a natural turning point in the year. The year has substantially passed and is coming to an end, and there’s a quiet invitation to slow down, take stock and turn inward. It’s a time of transition—a time that reflects what many of us feel but rarely give ourselves the time and space to acknowledge or process. This makes October a fitting month for World Mental Health Day , observed each year on October 10th . While it’s an important time for raising awareness globally, it’s also a deeply personal reminder: our mental health matters, and we need to take ownership to prioritize the same as intentionally as we do our physical health. With the pre-occupation of day-to-day life, where productivity and performance often take centre stage, we can easily lose sight of how we’re really feeling and what we really need. This October, I invite you to slow down.
Take a deep breath.
And ask yourself: How am I, really? Mental Health Is Everyday Health Mental health is not a luxury. Neither is it something reserved for people in crisis or with mental illness. It’s something we all own, and something we all need to look after and maintain—just like our physical wellbeing. Some days, our mental health feels steady and clear. Other days, it may feel shaky, foggy, or heavy. That fluctuation is normal. But if you’ve noticed that the tough days are starting to outweigh the better ones—or if you’ve been feeling disconnected, anxious, exhausted, or simply “not yourself” for a while—it may be time to check in more deeply. The truth is, many people struggle silently or ignore the warning signs. According to the World Health Organization, an estimated 1 in 4 people worldwide will experience a mental health issue at some point in their lives. And yet, stigma, shame, busyness and misconceptions still prevent many from seeking support. Common Myths About Mental Health Let’s take a moment to challenge a few common myths that often keep people from getting help: • “I should be able to handle this on my own.”
While resilience is admirable, no one is meant to carry their emotional struggle alone. Seeking help or support is not an act of coward, or a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it is an act of taking ownership and responsibility for our own mental health, and an act of courage to face the issue. Just as you’d seek help for a broken bone, it’s okay to seek support for emotional pain or mental unwellness too. • “My problems aren’t serious enough, other people in similar situation are going through the same thing.”
Therapy or mental check-in isn’t just for people in crisis. Many clients seek support for stress, burnout, relationships, transitions, or just to better understand themselves. If it’s impacting you in any way, it’s valid. Especially so if it has been affecting your general wellbeing for some time. Only you know how you feel, and how you are being impacted. There is no one universal baseline for everyone, each of us is unique. • “If I talk about it, I will feel worse.”
The opposite is often true. Recognising and naming what you’re feeling and being heard by a trusted person, or a professional in a safe space can bring incredible cathartic relief. The added advantage of seeking therapy with professional therapists is that you will not feel judged, instead you feel safe and heard, and will also achieve clarity as to your feelings and thinking. This clarity will go a long way to help you navigate through your struggles. Simple Ways to Support Your Mental Health This Month Whether you’re in a difficult season or simply wanting to stay emotionally grounded, here are some gentle practices you could try to support your mental wellbeing: 1. Create Intentional Pauses Take 2–5 minutes each day to check in with yourself. How’s your body feeling? What emotions are present? Just noticing and acknowledging, without judgment, is powerful. It means that you are paying attention to yourself, and recognising how you feel bodily and emotionally. 2. Move Your Body, Gently You don’t need an intense workout. Even a walk outside or light stretching can release tension and help bring your focus back to yourself. Bonus if you could get some fresh air and sunlight in the process too, which are vital to boost your mood. 3. Limit Mental Overload If you are suffering from mental overload, your nervous system needs breaks to recalibrate. You may have too many things you want done or expected to get done, try to organize and only focus on what really needs to be done currently , so that you can declutter and lighten the mental overload. Learning how to prioritise in our fast-paced life is important. Also try reducing overstimulation from excessive screen time, social media, news, or constant multitasking. 4. Reach Out and Connect Call a friend. Reach out to someone for a catch-up. Let someone know how you’re doing. Be interested in what’s going with someone’s life. You might be surprised how much it helps to connect with and talk to someone. 5. Get Support from a Professional There’s no shame in talking to a therapist. In fact, therapy can be one of the most empowering choices you make. It’s a safe and confidential space to explore your thoughts, process difficult emotions, and learn useful tools to navigate life more effectively. Therapy Is Not a Last Resort—It’s a Powerful Resource As a psychotherapist, I’ve had the privilege of walking alongside people through their most challenging seasons. And I’ve seen time and time again how people uncover or re-discover their inner resilience when they feel safe, heard, understood, and supported. Therapy offers more than just a place to vent. It’s a space where healing can happen. Where self-awareness can deepen. Where you can reconnect with your own wisdom and inner resources. Self-care Isn’t Selfish—It’s Essential In our culture, especially in caregiving roles or high-pressure environments, it’s easy to internalize the message that taking care of yourself is weak or selfish. But burnout, emotional numbness, and chronic stress don’t just affect you—they impact your relationships, your health, and your ability to show up fully for your loved ones. When you care for your mental health, everyone around you benefits. You become more grounded, more present, and more available—to yourself and others. So let’s rewrite the narrative: Checking in with oneself isn’t being self-indulgent. It’s being responsible. Final Thoughts If you’ve been navigating life’s demands on your own and wondering whether you could benefit from talking to someone—this is your invitation. Whether you’re processing a recent loss, dealing with anxiety, exploring your identity, or simply feeling stuck, therapy can be a life-changing space for self-discovery, healing and growth. World Mental Health Day is a powerful reminder, but mental health care isn’t a one-day event. It’s an ongoing practice of listening inward, paying attention to your body and emotions, and knowing that you can exercise your own agency in seeking support. If you’re looking for a place to begin, we are here. As therapists, we offer a safe, non-judgmental space where you can explore what’s been weighing on your heart and mind. You don’t have to carry it all alone. If you would like to speak to me, or one of our therapists, feel free to contact us at [email protected] . Pause. Check In. Reflect. Heal. Your wellbeing matters. And you are not alone .
