Celebrating Women’s Day 2025 Through Connection

Zina De Mercey

Women’s Day is more than a celebration, it’s an opportunity to rethink women’s major health concerns: stress, one of the leading causes of health issues. 

It’s a chance to reflect on healthier ways to cope with it.

As women, how many times have you felt challenged by stress? The kind that follows you through the day and keeps you up at night, tightening your chest as you mentally replay overwhelming worries? 

Despite considerable advances, significant gaps remain in our acknowledgement of stress related to gendered caring roles. 

While stress is universal, we know that women and men experience it in very different ways. Women are more likely to feel overwhelmed and exhausted by stress. We also know that women are exposed to chronic stress than men. Why it is so? 

The silent burden of women

When it comes to women and stress, the answer to this question partly lies in social constructs, role prescription and emotional labor. 

Although stress is an unavoidable part of life, for women; it often comes in layers: Being a devoted mother, a family caregiver, a loving and supportive wife, and a successful career woman while maintaining social expectations in terms of beauty, fitness, ageing, and emotional support can beoverwhelming. This, is the invisible burden that women disproportionally carry and that contributes to the strain many women feel daily.

As a result, women often internalize stress by developing perfectionist tendencies as a way to cope with the pressure of juggling multiple roles. This situation is further intensified by the disconnection between what’s expected of women and what is it, really, to be a women in today’s world. 

This snowballing effect leads women to put more pressure on themselves trying to solve this complex equation, relentlessly willing to close the gap between social expectations and reality of womanhood.

As a therapist, I have encountered many women facing stressful events struggling with self-defeating beliefs such as “I fail if I can’t do it all”, “I should stay strong for everyone” or "I should be able to handle everything on my own". Those thoughts are deeply ingrained in women’s minds and they often reinforce guilt, emotional suppression, and perfectionism;making stress even more overwhelming.

What are the causes of women stress?

The main identified causes of stress are professional life, financial problems, couple life, and health issues. 

However, the reality of women balancing multiple roles across professional, personal, and social spheres intensifies stress and exhaustion as they navigate conflicting demands.

Here are common sources of stress for women:

Work-related stress: In the workplace, women's stress often arises from unexpected sources. On the top of their duties as professionals’, women are expected to demonstrate greater empathy, patience, and emotional control. The glass ceiling and gender biases create additional pressure by imposing higher expectations on women. Maintaining work-life balance also remains a constant source of stress.

“Super-women” syndrome: Women often face a “second shift,” balancing professional and domestic responsibilities, which significantly increases stress. Managing schedules, tracking household tasks, and remembering key dates add to their mental load.

Parenting further amplifies this stress, as societal expectations and the "Perfect Mother" myth set unattainable standards. Many women feel compelled to meet these ideals, often at the cost of their own well-being. Women face immense pressure to excel in multiple roles at once. This relentless demand fosters resentment, fatigue, and stress, particularly when their efforts go unrecognized.

Love & Load: As a couple therapist, I experienced several key stressors that women face in their relationships. Traditional gender norms still expect women to prioritize their relationships and family over personal needs. A women may not engage in pursuing her career, stepping up the laddersfearing relationship strain. The struggle to balance self-identity and relationship expectations, combined with guilt and self-doubt when prioritizing personal goals, often creates internal conflict and increased stress for women.

How do we react to stress? 

While short term stress can be a source of motivation, chronic stress gradually depletes mental, emotional, and physical health. 

Chronic stress impacts all aspects of well-being: psychologically, it leads to emotional exhaustion and low self-esteem; emotionally, it causes breakdowns and burnout; physically, it weakens immunity and increases health risks; and behaviorally, it fosters withdrawal and maladaptive coping. 

Early intervention is key to preventing long-term harm.

How to better cope with stress?

International Women’s Day is an opportunity to pause and reflect on better ways to manage stress through healthy and adaptive coping strategies that enhance women’ quality of life and overall well-being.

 

 

Here are some healthy strategies to relate to:

1. Separate the Stress from the stressor

When experiencing stress, it is important to separate stress from the stressor. Stress is your body’s physiological response that follows a cycle with a beginning, middle, and an end;while the stressor is the external trigger. You don’t have to fix your problem to release stress. 

Even if the stressor (work deadlines, family conflicts or couple issues) is still present, you can release stress physically and emotionally through simple actions like: deep breathing, crying or sharing a warm hug with a loved one. Visualization can be a powerful tool. Closing your eyes and picturing a safe, comforting space helps your body process stress, relax and reset.

 

2. Be friend with stress

When we experience stress our body respond in different ways, each of them shaping the way we cope with our challenges.

Fight Mode: Reacting with frustration, defensiveness, or aggression. Instead of lashing out, try to pause before reacting and reset your response through deep breathing.

Flight Mode: Feeling overwhelmed and wanting to withdraw. Try to regain a sense of control by breaking challenges into small, manageable and controllable steps.

Befriend Mode: Research shows that this strategy leads to better outcome. Women tend to embrace stress by seeking support rather than fighting or fleeing. They often turn to connection, sharing their worries with their loved ones, which helps regulate the nervous system and alleviate stress.

Recognizing different coping mechanisms allows us to adopt a more constructive approach to managing stress and its triggers.

 

3. Stress as a lever not a threat

Instead of seeing stress as a threat, reframe your mindset: Stress is just your body’s reaction to any change that requires an adjustment or a response. Stress prepares you to face your challenge. 

Instead of seeing stress as a threat, making peace with it allows us to harness its energy, its motivational force, build resilience, and navigate our challenges with greater response.

When your heart races, when anxiety increases just think: “My body is just giving me a motivational force to overcome my challenge”or “How can I use this force for good to mitigate my worries?”.

Shifting our perspective to see stress as a positive force fosters resilience, turning challenges into opportunities. Trusting our ability to adapt is key.

4. Reframing, Is the glass half-full or half-empty?

When worries pile up, stress takes control. That’s the moment to pause and reframe. Ask yourself, “Is the glass half-full or half-empty?” Shift from “I’ll never get through this” to “I’ll take it one step at a time.”

Try changing your perspective, identify one potential benefit in the challenge, recall past moments when you successfully managed stress, or focus on a small, actionable step within your control.

Reframing is essential because stress has an impact on our cognitive flexibility, it narrows our thinking, distorts our perspective, and makes challenges feel bigger than they are. Remember, you’re doing your best, and that’s enough!

5. Resonance as a stress relief

To relentless pressure, we, women need to find our own deep connection to the world to healthily cope with stress.

Hartmut Rosa's concept of “Resonance” emphasizes shifting from control to meaningful connection whether in relationships, work, nature, or creativity fostering deeper connection, well-being, and a more fulfilling way of experiencing life.

Instead of viewing life as a checklist of tasks, a relentless pursuit of perfection and performance, or a constant drive for efficiency, we should focus on experiencing life purposefully. 

Rather than seeking validation, we need to connect with what truly matters. Instead of feeling trapped by expectations, we should embrace being fully present in the moment and finding joy in the “here” and “now”. Constantly reminding ourselves that our worth is not defined by external standards.

Many activities can help us engage in a form of “Resonance” to ourselves and to the world, including yoga, sound healing, meditation, and gratitude practices. 

 

Keeping in mind that true support for women stress comes from all genders, including men, in a shared commitment to balance, equity, and well-being.

 

Beyond the Nervous System Reset

By Jason Woolley • March 18, 2026
In recent years, the language of the “nervous system reset” has become increasingly common in wellbeing spaces. Guided relaxation sessions, breathwork classes, meditation workshops, and practices such as NSDR (Non‑Sleep Deep Rest) are often presented as opportunities to step out of stress and return the body to a calmer state. In many ways, this reflects something positive. For people living and working in high‑pressure environments, simply discovering that the nervous system can settle - even temporarily - can be an important experience. When the mind quiets and the body softens, many people realise something they may not have known before: calm is actually possible. Spaces that support rest, reflection, and nervous system regulation can therefore be valuable. They offer a pause in a world that rarely stops moving. But the popularity of the “reset” also reveals something deeper about the conditions many people are living under. For many professionals, life can begin to feel like a cycle of pressure followed by brief relief. A demanding week leads to a meditation class, a breathwork session, a yoga practice, or a relaxation workshop. For an hour or two the nervous system unwinds. Then the session ends, the lights come back on, and the same environment - the same demands, expectations, and internal pressures - are waiting outside. The relief is real. But it is also temporary. This cycle can leave people feeling as though calm exists somewhere outside their daily life, accessible only through occasional experiences designed to reset the system. Yet the nervous system was never designed to be repeatedly “reset”. It evolved to adapt. Long‑term resilience rarely develops through repeated escapes from stress. Instead, it develops when we gradually change how our body and mind relate to pressure itself. This is where deeper forms of psychological and embodied work become meaningful. In counselling, part of the work involves understanding the internal patterns that amplify stress - the beliefs, relational dynamics, and emotional histories that shape how experiences land in the nervous system. At the same time, embodied disciplines offer another pathway. Traditions such as Taiji and Qigong were developed over centuries as methods for regulating the interaction between mind, breath, and body. Their aim is not to produce a temporary state of relaxation. Instead, through consistent practice, they gradually change how the system responds to challenge. Over time, the body learns to release unnecessary tension more quickly. Breath settles naturally. Attention becomes steadier. External pressures may remain the same, but the way they land internally begins to shift. This process is sometimes misunderstood in modern wellness culture. Taiji, for example, is often seen as gentle exercise or slow movement in the park. But within traditional systems of practice, it is something more structured and transformative - a method of cultivating internal balance, resilience, and energy through sustained personal practice. It does not promise a quick nervous system reset. Instead, it invites a longer journey of learning how to live within the nervous system you already have. For many people, the most meaningful shift happens when calm is no longer something that needs to be found outside of daily life. It becomes something that can gradually be carried within it. And from there, resilience stops being something you temporarily borrow from a workshop or retreat. It becomes something you quietly build. ----- Moments of rest and nervous system regulation can be helpful starting points. But lasting change often emerges through deeper exploration and consistent practice. Counselling, reflective work, and embodied disciplines such as Taiji and breath-based practices can support a gradual shift in how the mind and body respond to pressure. If this perspective resonates with you, you are welcome to reach out to learn more about the ways these approaches can be explored together.

Intimacy Beyond Sex – A Way of Being

By Aki Tsukui • February 4, 2026
When we hear the word intimacy , we often think of sex: touch, desire, romance. Yet true intimacy lives far beyond these moments. It is felt in silence, in a shared glance, and in the quiet courage it takes to be fully present with yourself, with another, and with life itself. Real intimacy does not begin by reaching outward. It begins within. In the rhythm of your breath. In the pulse of life moving through your body. In the willingness to meet yourself honestly and gently. Meeting Yourself The deepest intimacy is the relationship you cultivate with your own heart. To meet yourself is to witness your thoughts, contradictions, joys, and aches without judgment or urgency. Can you stay present with fear rather than turning away? Can you allow sadness to settle in your chest and still honor it as meaningful? Can you sense the subtle movement of breath and energy within you? In moments of stillness and awareness, we often discover how much of ourselves we have learned to hide: emotions pushed aside, sensations ignored, patterns inherited and carried unconsciously. Yet every doorway to genuine connection already exists inside you. When you reclaim your inner world, you reconnect with the source from which all intimacy flows. Being Felt Emotional intimacy is not something we explain; it is something we allow. It lives in presence in the unguarded moment, the pause that stretches, the vulnerability that remains uncovered. To be emotionally intimate is to let the quiet pulse of your inner life meet another without the need to justify or repair it. Breath becomes a bridge, gently moving awareness between your inner world and the shared space. In this soft surrender, the heart remembers that it is safe to open, to soften, to simply be. Being Known Psychological intimacy asks for the courage to see and name the patterns that shape how we move through the world: our fears, defenses, and habitual ways of relating. “I withdraw when I feel unseen.” “I hesitate to ask for support because I fear being a burden.” These patterns rarely belong only to us. They often arise from family systems, ancestral histories, and cultural conditioning, unseen forces carried across generations. When we begin to recognize these influences, compassion naturally deepens. We stop judging ourselves and instead meet our patterns with curiosity and care, honoring the lineage that lives within us. Meeting Beyond Roles Spiritual intimacy emerges when roles and narratives fall away. It is found in the space between breaths, in shared silence, and in the quiet recognition of essence meeting essence. It may appear while sitting together in stillness, in a gaze that needs no explanation, or while walking side by side through ordinary moments that suddenly feel sacred. When attention softens and awareness deepens, intimacy arises naturally. Breath, presence, and a wider systemic awareness allow us to meet one another with greater freedom, depth, and reverence. Intimacy Beyond Another You do not need another person to access this depth of closeness. Intimacy can be cultivated entirely within. In moments of stillness, you may begin to honor every layer of your being. As your breath deepens, its rhythm may echo the larger cycles of life. Subtle currents of energy become more perceptible, as does the quiet presence of ancestral threads shaping your experience. When inner intimacy is nurtured, relationships transform. Connection is no longer about filling a void, but about resonance: two beings meeting from wholeness rather than need. The Sacredness of Vulnerability To be intimate is to be seen and being seen can feel risky. Old wounds, inherited fears, and unmet needs often surface, making closeness feel uncomfortable. Yet vulnerability is the doorway. Breath and embodied awareness gently anchor you in the present, reminding you that you are alive, supported, and connected. As presence meets presence, intimacy deepens naturally. Intimacy as a Way of Being Intimacy is not something to earn or achieve. It is a state of presence, openness, and deep respect for life. It lives in meeting yourself with compassion, keeping your heart soft even in the presence of fear, holding space for another without expectation, and recognizing the sacred thread that runs through all connection. As you move through the days ahead, you might gently notice where intimacy is already presentin your breath, in moments of quiet honesty with yourself, in the spaces between words. There is nothing to strive for and nothing to fix. Intimacy is already here, waiting to be met. Warmly, Aki Tsukui

The Limits of Chemistry

By Esther Oon-Bybjerg • February 4, 2026
Chemistry is often treated as a decisive force in romantic life. When it is present, people feel justified in leaning in. When it is absent, even after a pleasant and promising date, interest tends to stall. Chemistry appears to offer clarity, but what it actually provides is something narrower: an early signal, powerful in its immediacy, yet limited in what it can reliably tell us. Most people recognise this tension intuitively. They know chemistry matters, but they also sense that it does not explain everything that makes a relationship viable or sustaining. And yet, in practice, chemistry is frequently asked to carry more authority than it deserves, shaping decisions about who to pursue, who to dismiss, and how long to remain invested. What is chemistry? In relationship research, romantic chemistry is recognised as a multifaceted, emergent experience. It can include attraction, emotional connection, interactive engagement, and a sense of mutual responsiveness. Importantly, chemistry is not viewed as a fixed trait residing in one person, but as something that arises between two people through interaction. When researchers examine how people themselves describe chemistry, however, a more specific pattern emerges. A recent qualitative study published in Behavioral Sciences, found that while participants acknowledged chemistry could involve multiple elements, the most commonly cited and immediately recognised experience was an instantaneous spark - a felt sense of connection, intensity, or attraction early in an interaction, rather than a gradual assessment of compatibility or emotional safety (Devenport et al., 2025). Why the spark feels so convincing That immediate spark carries weight because it is physiological as much as psychological. Early romantic chemistry is associated with activation of the brain’s reward and motivation systems, including increased dopamine and norepinephrine, which are neurochemicals involved in focus, pursuit, and salience. The body feels energised, attention narrows, and the other person begins to stand out in a way that feels meaningful. This response is not irrational. From an evolutionary perspective, rapid bonding had adaptive value. From a learning perspective, our nervous systems are shaped by repeated relational experiences. Attachment research helps explain why this kind of activation can feel meaningful so quickly. Our nervous systems learn through experience what closeness feels like, and over time they become efficient at recognising familiar patterns. When past intimacy involved emotional intensity or heightened engagement, the body may respond swiftly to similar cues, even before conscious evaluation has a chance to catch up. (Mikulincer et al., 2020). 1Chemistry, then, is neither imagined nor accidental. But it is also not a verdict. It is a signal that arrives early and speaks loudly. When chemistry starts doing more than it should Problems arise when chemistry shifts from being an opening signal to becoming the deciding factor. When people over-index on chemistry, two familiar patterns tend to emerge. In one, the absence of chemistry limits pursuit. Dates can go well. Conversation can flow. The other person may be emotionally available, respectful, even aligned with what someone says they want. And yet, without chemistry, interest stalls. Many people describe this not as rejection, but as resignation: “I know they’re good for me, but I don’t feel anything.” The relationship does not end; it simply never begins. In other cases, the opposite happens. A relationship starts with strong chemistry. People invest quickly and overlook early warning signs. That initial pull shapes the decision to begin the relationship and continues to guide it even if doubts surface. Concerns are registered, but they carry less weight. Over time, it becomes clear how much chemistry has been steering judgment from the beginning. Because the nervous system is activated, the mind works to maintain coherence, often finding reasons to persist rather than pause. In both cases, chemistry is doing more work than it should either preventing people from staying curious enough for other forms of connection to develop or pulling people forward too quickly. What chemistry can and cannot tell you Research consistently shows that long-term relationship satisfaction is far more strongly predicted by responsiveness, repair after conflict, and emotional attunement than by early intensity alone (Overall & Lemay, 2021). Chemistry does not reliably predict these capacities. Chemistry can tell you that your system is activated, your attention is engaged, and something feels compelling or familiar. What it cannot tell you is how conflict will be handled, whether needs will be met consistently, or whether emotional safety will deepen or erode over time. From a nervous-system perspective, this distinction matters. Stephen Porges’ work on Polyvagal Theory describes how the autonomic nervous system continuously scans for cues of safety and threat, shaping whether we feel socially open, vigilant, or withdrawn. When systems are accustomed to high arousal, intensity can be misread as connection and calm can register as disinterest. In such cases, chemistry reflects nervous-system conditioning more than relational compatibility (Porges, 2022). 2The consequences of over-indexing on chemistry often appear later, in hindsight. When chemistry dominates judgment, it can obscure both warning signs and possibilities. Chemistry as one voice among others A more grounded way to relate to chemistry is to treat it as one voice in a larger conversation. It deserves attention, but it should not be allowed to dominate the discussion or determine the outcome on its own. Qualities such as emotional safety, mutual responsiveness, values alignment, and repair after conflict tend to speak more slowly. They require time and exposure to reveal themselves. When chemistry drowns them out, decisions are made with incomplete information. Wanting chemistry is not the problem. The issue arises when it is allowed to outweigh every other form of relational information. Chemistry can open the door, spark curiosity, and make connection feel alive, but sustaining love depends on quieter, more consistent signals - emotional presence, repair, respect, and reliability over time. The goal is not to mute the spark, but to place it in context. Chemistry speaks loudly, but wisdom often emerges only after the initial intensity had time to settle.  References Devenport, L., et al. (2025). Exploring lay understandings of romantic chemistry. Behavioral Sciences, MDPI. https://www.mdpi.com/3592440 Mikulincer, M., Shaver, P. R., & Ein-Dor, T. (2020). Attachment orientations and emotion regulation in close relationships. Current Opinion in Psychology, 25, 86–91. Overall, N. C., & Lemay, E. P. (2021). Attachment, responsiveness, and well-being in romantic relationships. Current Opinion in Psychology, 43, 110–115. Porges, S. W. (2022). Polyvagal theory: A science of safety. Frontiers in Integrative Neuroscience, 16, 871227. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnint.2022.871227 3